7 Tactics That Will Never Work In Reaching A Twentysomething

Ministries to twentysomethings are springing up all over the United States as churches recognize the importance of reaching out to this generation. Young adults who are hungry for real relationships are gathering together, growing spiritually and deepening their walk with Christ. Many of the pastors and leaders who work with this demographic can easily list the tactics they’ve used to attract twentysomethings and keep them engaged in the community. But they can also the list things that simply don’t work.

With a teaspoon of humor and a tablespoon of satire, we’ve put together a list of 7 tried-and-not-so-true techniques used to reach twentysomethings. They’re written in such a way as to make you laugh, smile and hopefully reflect. And if you ever want to get rid of the twentysomethings in your church, these ideas will definitely work:

Promote a meat market atmosphere. If you want to scare off healthy twentysomethings who could potentially help grow and strengthen your group, all you need to do is simply promote your group as a place to find a date. Talk about the importance of dating every week and tell your members that in order to be whole, complete people they need to get married. Help foster the atmosphere by gossiping with members about who has an interest in who. Encourage your wife or an older female member of your church to play matchmaker. Let the matchmaker have free reign in setting people up on dates and let her boast about how God has given her a special gift in getting people to fall in love. Encourage the men in your group to ask gals out on a regular basis—even if they’re not interested in the person, they’ll at least get to practice their Casanova skills on the other women in the group. And most importantly, remind attendees that discovering a mate is more important than discovering more about God. If you pursue these tactics, you should be able to sabotage your twentysomething ministry in 12 weeks or less.

Talk about religion and church more than you talk about you talk about relationship and Christ. That’s right, if you want to get rid of twentysomethings, then simply focus on the institution and rules. Don’t let them know that Christ wants to be a real, relevant part of their lives. Don’t let them know Jesus wants fulfill their cry for intimacy. And whatever you do, don’t tell them that as a follower of Christ, they will discover true meaning, purpose and satisfaction in a way that this world will never provide. No—don’t tell them about the real Jesus. And whatever you do, don’t demonstrate His love to them through your lifestyle. Because if you do, they’ll just want to keep coming back.

Play it safe. Do things the same way every week. Live inside the box. Sing three songs. Lecture for an hour or two straight, preferably in a monotone voice (we wouldn’t want to shake things up). Keep the subject matter shallow. Don’t go deep. Don’t leave time for questions or discussion, which would allow group members to challenge and explore ideas and beliefs. Don’t plan any outside activities where members could grow connect and grow closer to each other. Whatever you do, don’t experiment with an idea suggested by one of the members of your gathering. This is dangerous ground. It could totally bomb and destroy everything you’ve been doing for the last year. Or it could totally succeed, shake things up, and take the group to the next level in their relationships with each other and Christ. So if you want to undermine the growth of your group, don’t ever try anything new.

Call them singles. Don’t call your gathering of twentysomethings a “College Gathering” or “Career Group”. Don’t use the term “Young Adult” or “Twentysomething.” And don’t develop a hip name for your group like “Fusion”, “The 411”, “Portico” or “Pathways”. Just call them “Singles”. Identify them by their marital status. Make them feel like that’s their brand and that’s what they’re about. That way every twentysomething who is looking for more than just a date stays miles away from your meetings.

Do all the talking. This tactic is a sure-fire way to make twentysomethings disappear. Talk ten times as much as you listen. Better yet, try not to listen to them at all. Whenever they tell you a story, try to tell them one that’s better. When they share about difficult time in their lives, top it with a story that’s more difficult. When they become vulnerable about their personal struggles, offer lots of pat answers and refuse to identify with their pain. Instead of listening to twentysomethings and their needs, tell them what they should do and what they should be like. Always act like you know better and that you get them when you really don’t. This will ensure that twentysomethings stay away every time.

Be fake. Don’t be yourself. Be someone else all the time. Put on a show. Dress in clothes that really aren’t your style, simply because they’re hip. Buy the latest gadgets (even though you’ll never use them) so you can say you own one. And most importantly, use the latest teenage language. Since most of the twentysomethings in your group don’t even know teen talk, you’ll sound like you’re really “in”. Make it obvious that you really want to be cool in everything you do more than you want to be like Jesus. This will help ensure the twentysomethings hungering for authentic relationships and faith go somewhere else.

Provide lots of handouts. Why limit your handouts to notes on the sermon when there are so many other pieces of paper you could be giving to your group members. Create a brochure for your service and stuff it with as many reminders and insert notes as possible. Buy lots of pre-printed handouts from various publishers and give them out every week. Agree to give out promotional handouts to your group for every band, concert and conference that comes to town, even if you’ve never heard of them before and have no idea about their spiritual background or basis. Convince yourself that twentysomethings like snail mail and only use antiquated communication methods. Skip the email and you’ll lose members faster than an Intel processor.

These are just a few of the tactics that will help make sure your twentysomething ministry stays small and struggling. So if you’re afraid of success, making an impact and reaching the lost, just keep doing the aforementioned over and over again. You’re practically guaranteed to bomb. On the other hand, if you want to develop a ministry that really reaches twentysomethings, try to do the opposite of the ideas listed above. You just might be surprised at how easy it is to attract young adults to your ministry.

--Margaret Feinberg (www.margaretfeinberg.com) is an author and speaker based in Sitka, Alaska. She’s author of Twentysomething: Surviving & Thriving in the Real World and How To Be A Grown-Up: 247 Lab-Tested Strategies to Conquer Your World. In addition, she’s written God Whispers: Learning To Hear His Voice, Simple Acts of Faith, Simple Acts of Friendship, Simple Prayers of Hope,Just Married: Surprises From the First Few Years of Marriage and way too many magazine articles. You can reach her at margaret@margaretfeinberg.com.